S.S. Willows

The deed is done. Mummy is safely aboard the S.S. Willows. This fantastic retirement community is just like being on a cruise ship except everybody has really big staterooms. Everyone is SO nice. Everyone wants to help. Everyone can afford to be there. Talk about a lack of diversity! But that's the way she likes it.

The question is what are we going to do when we get to be ninety? Social Security will probably have all but disappeared, our 401 k's will be worth nothing, our stocks will have tanked, and we won't be able to sell our houses. So once again Mr. Ram and Mrs. Ewe come out on top. Fantastic view, unlimited food, great fur coats, and no worries.

Q: What are your retirement plans?

Mr. Ram: Me and the missus plan to stay right here and live off the land. I told the young 'uns that they shouldn't leave for the big city, but Vik does have Wi-Fi. That's something we don't have here and they seem to like being able to keep track of their relatives who are going to slaughter.

Q: If you could go on a cruise ship, say the S.S. Willows, would that suit you?

Mrs. Ewe: I sure would like to get this fur done. I haven't had a trim since Easter. You know how they like their Easter lambs to be all pretty. I hear they even do some in butter! I think they do those kinds of things on cruise ships.

Q: Yes, they do - and anything else you could want. Kind of makes me want to be 65 and wealthy. Do you have any savings?

Mr. Ram: Yes, we put some grass away for the winter over by the lava dome. In terms of cash, we are kind of short, but yahoos come by and want to take our picture and we oblige, but ask for at least 10 kroner. Don't we look good?

Q: You look fabulous darlings. Is there any way we can get in on this gig?

Mrs. Ewe: Sorry, but you just haven't got the legs.