Most people live their lives as part of a twosome. Bob and Pat, Jim and Sarah, Jane and Mike, Tim and Andrew. It becomes like a one word description. For 35 years I was part of that silly convention. But now I am me. Just me, with a whole new life ahead of me. It's taken a long time, but I have shed that other half. And good riddance to selfish assholes. Let someone else deal with a dishonest partner. Not me.
James Brown singing "Sex Machine" loud off Pandora (a fantastic invention, if you don't already know, pandora.com). My daughter says it's like living in a night club around here. That's just the way I like it. Now if there could only be some cute guys offering to buy champagne I would have it made.
Do we ever grow out of that feeling you get when a handsome man or woman that you are attracted to walks in a room and your head whips around to take a second look? It happened to me the other day. Whoa! Pheramones, chemistry, or just plain sex appeal, it never ceases to amaze me. It's not unlike that horrifying rush of adrenaline that I feel when I see a child go too close to the edge.
Go ahead. Take a chance. Do something that noone would expect you to do. However, I would advise you not to do anything that Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan have done, They are SO predictable! Here Paris has broken two rules - no Africans, especially in costume on a set, and do we really need to see your underwear? I'm sure that the photo was taken on Paris' last trip to the jungle, and who wouldn't bring along a fur stole? The fact is that Cassava root makes a fabulous anti-cellulite treatment and these lovely ladies are obviously preparing some for her barren thigh.
Now Lindsay is another story. That poor girl has got some trouble. Yesterday I heard her father commenting on her new boobs - in prime time!. Which one is worse? Father or daughter. Put them both together and you have one dysfunctional family. I should talk.......
The whole reality TV thing has gone way too far. Thank God for cable. All of the main stream networks are creating ever more ridiculous shows. My favorite recently has been "Dating in the Dark". I've never watched it but I have seen the commercials where some dude with night vision goggles is watching two people making out in the pitch black. What is the point? That you are such a whore that you will kiss someone who is down right ugly? Or that men are such gullible idiots that they will fondle anything that breathes.
It all comes down to money - the great equalizer. Money from the advertisers, money for the "contestants", money for the giant flat screen TV, money for the crew... Making reality TV is cheap! That's why it's so pervasive. Bring back Gilligan's Island. Cheap set, one camera and one bimbo. A winning combination!
Be transported back to another time, when there were no worries, no bills to pay, no children demanding things, nothing but Bob Denver, Jim Backus and Tina Louise. Those were the days.......
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